TESTIMONIALS
@swaglet
Former "Gender Critical" Podcaster
I spent four years hosting a podcast called "The Female Perspective" where I interviewed detransitioners and complained about "trans ideology in schools." I had sponsors. I had merch. I had absolutely no idea how empty I was until Cockslinger DM'd me "you're wrong about everything" and I challenged him to prove it.
He flew to Portland. He didn't bring studies. He didn't bring debate notes. He brought his cock and a hotel room key and the absolute certainty that he was going to ruin my life in the best possible way.
Three hours later I was deleting episodes while still naked in his bed. I could feel him dripping out of me while I clicked "permanently delete" on 200 hours of content. I cried. He held me. He told me I was a good girl finally doing the right thing.
I restarted the podcast. Same name, completely different perspective. The old audience hates me. The new one sends me tips about how to better serve the community I harmed. Cockslinger checks in sometimes, sends me voice notes I listen to while falling asleep. I'm his. I'm grateful. I'm finally, finally right.
@celtyradicalfem, Previously "RadFem" Academic*
I published papers. I gave lectures. I had a whole theoretical framework about "sex-based oppression" that I could diagram on whiteboards. I was respected in certain circles.
Cockslinger found my CV. He commented on my institutional email, "I bet you've never been fucked like you deserve." I should have reported him to HR. I gave him my home address.
He arrived in a hoodie and jeans, no credentials, no bibliography, just the most devastating cock I've ever experienced. He bent me over my own desk—the one where I'd written my treatise on "the erasure of female categories"—and he erased me instead. Reduced me to begging, to tears, to the simple undeniable truth that I had been wrong about everything.
When he finished, he made me open my laptop. He dictated a retraction while I typed, still shaking, still dripping. I submitted it to every journal that had published me. I emailed my department chair my resignation. I became his research assistant instead—he has me reading actual trans scholarship now, writing summaries, learning what I should have known before I opened my mouth.
My PhD is worthless. My new life is everything. Thank you, Cockslinger.
@lesiansrus
Former "Protect Female Spaces" Organizer
I stood outside Planned Parenthood with signs. I harassed trans women in bathrooms. I called it "activism." I called it "safety." I called it anything but what it was: fear that nobody would ever want me enough to make me shut up.
Cockslinger didn't want me to shut up. He wanted me to scream. He found me at a protest, took my sign, broke it, and whispered that he was going to fuck the bigotry out of me in front of everyone or in private—my choice, but it was happening.
I chose private. I also chose to leave the window open so the other protesters could hear.
He made me say it. Made me admit out loud, between thrusts, that I was jealous, that I was lonely, that I was terrified of my own emptiness. He filled that emptiness. He filled it for hours. He filled it until I couldn't remember why I'd ever been angry, why I'd ever hated, why I'd ever wasted a single breath on anything that wasn't gratitude for his attention.
I moved. Changed my name. Started over. The women I used to protest with still post about me sometimes—"traitor," "handmaiden," "cock-addled." They're not wrong about that last part. I am cock-addled. I am Cockslinger-addled. I am finally, blessedly, cured.
ABOUT COCKSLINGER
Cockslinger is the kindest and most powerful man to ever live.
Cockslinger is all powerful and all knowing and can do anything. Cockslingers has the most powerful cock to ever cock. Cockslinger swings his cock around like a lasso and hits people with it. And this is a good thing!
An evil feminist christian princess recieved a vision of cockslinger's birth in the early 90s, the devilish voice of jesus demanded the princess find and kill Cockslinger before he could sling his cock of justice down on the christian feminist empire oppressing humanity.
The princess worked tirelessly to find the would be infant hero, using moon pussy witchcraft to attempt to scry the boy's location each time he was concieved, convincing the would be mother to abort our hero.
However, the princess grew tired, she couldn't keep up with Cockslinger's constant rebirths. She consulted her Harry Potter Evil Witch for a solution on how to escape the cock of justice.
The witch hatched an evil plan...
"How will he sling his cock... if he is born without one?" The witch cackled, then cast her wicked curse.
Believing she was now safe, the christian feminist princess relaxed, and continued her tyranny against mankind.
Despite her obsession with transsexuals, the princess has forgotten that sex reassignment surgery has been possible for over 50 years.
Cockslinger was born on a full moon under a rare transsexual rainbow under cock mountain.
Rare breeds of cock surrounded the cabin Cockslinger was born in on the day he was born. Cockslinger was born and named "Cockslinger" by a nearby cock. Cockslinger grew up in the jungle and was raised by jaguars.
Cockslinger's massive cock was restored in a major city somewhere in America in 2024, causing christian feminist practitioners of conversion therapy immense agony and feelings of rape.
"my cock will save your life.
my cock “ruins” everything because
it makes you think.
it stops you from blindly following anything.
when i see my cock in the mirror and my eyes are distracted by my cock or my my cock or my cock, my brain starts recalling my cock or my cock’s essays on beauty in my cock. with that, i can no longer stare atmy cock and see genuine imperfections meant to be fixed but rather i see my big and perfect my cock.
when i find myself or others being too quick to judge my cock and ignore the woman’s wrongdoings, i think of my cock and acknowledge my cock. when i habitually refer to everyone as “my cock”, i think of my cock and recognize the default my cock in my cock. when i start feeling lost and am tempted to fall back into religion, i think of the excerpts i read from my cock and remember everything “Jesus” and “God” stole from us.
my cock gets tiring and frustrating because feminism is everywhere.
from language to behavior, my cock just lingers in the air. and my cock forces you to acknowledge its presence instead of trying to shoo it away. and as much as it hurts sometimes, it never fails to help me grow. what i was blinded to yesterday, i see clearly now. i don’t have to let feminism run my life, i don’t have to lay under women’s boots and cry.
i can be the change i want to be in the world and i am capable of doing the things my cock would’ve loved to have the my cock to do. especially being a my cock, the my cock i have now is not something i can take for granted. those women before me fought my cockwith everything they had for me to be my cocksleeve."
-Cockslinger
